• Peaks and troughs

When all else fails, anyone seeking for inspiration could do worse than look back over the peaks and troughs of their own life. I therefore have a brief story to share with you from, I think, 1984 (the year, not the book), which neatly couples with a conversation I had with Emma and Alex in the Hungerford Bookshop this week about AI.

Are you sitting comfortably?

• My long-ish walk

In 1984 I was living near the Angel Islington, in a flat in a beautiful square. Due to a recently discovered lease problem I was also squatting, the landlords regularly returning my rent cheques to prevent my establishing a tenancy. It also meant they wouldn’t come and fix the boiler, so no hot water or heating. I was looking round for somewhere else to go and then Christmas intervened.

For the previous dozen or so years my parents had lived in France, so it was there that I normally passed the twenty-fifth. On a couple of occasions I’d missed trains and arrived late (though never missing the day), which cemented, in my mother’s mind in particular, that I didn’t want to be there with them.

This was true-and-not-true. Many people don’t want to be where they accept they have to be at Christmas, though the reasons for not wanting to are often superficial. The centuries-old power of the family had started to fragment before I became sentient. For my parents’ generation, however, Christmas was non-negotiable: and, as their only surviving child, so was my presence.

By 1984, they’d moved back from France and were living just off Gunter Grove, on the wild and debatable border between Chelsea, Fulham and Earls Court. This was about six miles from the Angel. I’d be there at one, I assured them: I had a bike. What could go wrong?

What went wrong was that I discovered shortly after noon that day that the bike’s front tyre had a huge puncture and I had no repair kit. I picked up the phone with a sense of foreboding and explained.

“You don’t want to come,” my mother said before I’d finished speaking.

“Mum, I do – but it’s going to take me a bit longer. I’ll be there.”

“How?” To her, the Angel was at the other end of the world. Looking out of the window and the sleet falling, I slightly felt the same.

“I’m going to walk.”

And I did. It wasn’t the longest or hardest walk I’ve done in London (Bayswater to Rotherhithe in a thunderstorm takes that record) but it was up there.

I don’t think that, even when I turned up with their presents, my mum really believed that my alibi was genuine. I probably should have taken off the bike’s front wheel and shredded tyre and rolled it before me down Euston Road and Piccadilly like a Dickensian child playing with his hoop.

After the meal I then walked, still in the sleet, about the same distance again to Stockwell to where a friend was cat-sitting in a centrally-heated house with plenty of red wine. In terms of steps walked, this has got to my best Christmas. There are, I admit, other measures. Tell me yours…

• Fast-forward

We now fast-forward to the day before yesterday and a conversation I was having with Emma and Alex in the Hungerford Bookshop about AI.

For both writers and booksellers (and many other professions) this is a constant and mounting concern: for the former, that they are soon going to be completely irrelevant; for the latter, that they might be inadvertently peddling wares which, contrary to what was said on the cover, had no human agency.

Emma said she thought she could tell when marketing copy at least was AI-generated: the purple passages and hyperbole are overstated, the overall effect too glossy and synthetic.

I wasn’t sure that I could. I’ve affected this and other styles a great deal for various reasons and assume that plenty of other humans can too. I wondered how many books being sold now had been written by a bot. They shuddered. Indeed, I suggested, pointing to my own latest book on the counter, perhaps that was written by AI.

Neither of them could immediately think of anything to say to that. I then assured them that hadn’t. I made my way out, perhaps leaving some of the people in the shop who’d overheard our conversation in a state of mild unease. Whether it encouraged any of them to buy the book out of curiosity, I couldn’t say.

• Fact-checking

Back home, I sat down at the desk and started writing the above passage about my heroic walk from the Angel to Earls Court. The first thing was to check what the distance actually was, so I asked Mr Google.

Not for the first time, I was immediately annoyed that the default response to any question you ask here is an AI one (at least Google admits it). This confirmed it as six miles, which was what I’d thought. This was then followed by some perky advice, which I hadn’t asked for, of how to get there by tube, which would be “the easiest way”. I read this with interest.

In summary, I should take to the Northern Line southbound to Green Park, change onto the Jubilee Line eastbound to South Kensington, from where Gunter Grove was a five-minute walk.

There were so many things wrong with this. Green Park isn’t on the Northern Line and South Kensington isn’t on the Jubilee. South Ken is also west of Green Park, not east. As for the last leg, you might be able to run from South Ken station to Gunter Grove in five to ten minutes but you certainly couldn’t walk it.

This briefly made me feel much better: AI had the capacity to be completely crap so perhaps humans weren’t completely redundant after all. Penny then pointed out a less welcome conclusion: people increasingly rely on it and make decisions based on its advice.

Perhaps AI’s just at that awkward stage, like a teenager who thinks they know everything but xtually knows very little. Maybe it will grow up into a helpful, knowledgable and polite citizen: or maybe it will turn out to be a cunning and manipulative psychopath. If what it’s learning from is the overall content of the internet, the second seems the more likely.

• Intruding information

There’s another aspect. I’d merely asked what the distance between these two places was: nothing more. This I got but was also treated to what was effectively an advertisement for London Transport. I hadn’t said anything about wanting to make this journey or how I might want to do it. I might, for instance, have wished to walk, or (as was then the case) been compelled to. This is more than just trying to be helpful: it’s messing with our heads.

This is a benign instance. However, supposing I’d asked a simple and open question about political parties in the UK and ended up being offered a hagiography about one of their leaders. Or that I’d asked about a currency exchange rate and been pointed towards the bank that, at that moment, could offer me the best deal. These may be what I might have wanted to know, but it wasn’t what I’d asked.

On further reflection, perhaps AI has absorbed a basic truth about humans. Through diffidence, uncertainty, stupidity or whatever, we often fail to come directly to the point. Ask any GP who’s had an obviously unhappy patient coming in to talk about a mildly strained wrist and who, if a couple of carefully phrased questions are asked, is five minutes later in tears about their collapsing marriage or their crippling depression.

Just as we rarely say exactly how we feel, we also rarely ask exactly what we want to know. Of course, if we don’t know enough about something (which is why we’re asking the question), the inquiry might be inexact.

Press departments of organisations including councils are clearly trained to answer only the precise question that’s asked and not what the person perhaps might have meant. If extra information is provided, it’s often intended to confuse, overwhelm or put the questioner off, rather like pouring a cauldron of offal over soldiers trying to storm a castle.

What’s really clever, and worrying, is that AI is intruding information designed to be of commercial or other advantage to someone or other, as decided by algorithms we can never understand or control. By slow degrees, our brains are being rewired.

This happened when the internet first took off and we no longer had to bother to remember things as we could look them up. Now, we don’t need to bother to think about how to express ourselves – AI will fill in the gaps and point us in the direction it wants us to take. It seems from this article that several experts agree…

• Twenty-two stories

Did I mention this before? [Yes, you did. Ed.] Just in case you missed it, we’ve recently published Gravity and Rust, a collection of twenty-two of my stories and parodies. For more information, including a summary of what’s in it, a couple of brief reviews and the ISBN number, please click here.

• Liverpool

Paul Doyle has this week been sentenced to twenty-one years for driving his car into about 130 people during Liverpool FC’s Premier League trophy parade in May. The big question, as considered in this article, is why did he do it?

There are conflicting stories about him: a devoted father and husband and a convicted pub brawler, a dedicated soldier and an impulsive near-assassin. Something we may never understand is bubbling under the surface. I can’t imagine how his family or victims must be feeling. We’re left wondering if something horrible happened to him in childhood or in the army, or both.

What will spook most people is the sudden change. From all the reports I’ve read he was seen by friends and neighbours as being a normal, friendly, happy person. Clearly he wasn’t. What the hell happened during that car journey (and why did he think, on that day of all days, it was wise to drive through the centre of Liverpool)? It makes you look warily at every normal, friendly, happy person you know and ask “what’s your trigger?”

The man who jumped into his car and brought an end to the carnage, Dan Burr, was also an ex-soldier. Clearly what we’re dealing with is people who’re trained to look at a situation, consider all its aspects and take action, all within a second or so. Doyle decided immediately that using the car as a weapon was the thing to do; Burr that he had to jump in and put the gear lever into neutral.

Most of the rest of us would have dithered. In the former case, that would be have been great. A number of people owe their lives to Dan Burr’s lack of dithering. He’s said that the event still haunts him.

You don’t need military training to do this – one of the Bondi Beach civilian interveners was a greengrocer but, being brought up in Syria, was perhaps no stranger to public violence. None the less, it must help. I’m not sure quite what what point I’m making, except that I feel desperately sad for everyone involved in this. There are a lot of reasons why a human brain might overload and go rogue. Paul Doyle experienced one. The way things are going, these reasons are only going to become more common.

• Biodiversity

As part of its committment to supporting the environment and generally doing the best thing, the government has recently announced that it’s relaxing the regulations on biodiversity net gain (BND). Currently, pretty much all developments need to demonstrate a ten per cent uplift in biodiversity benefit (either on site or elsewhere).

Under the proposed new rules, those of under 0.2 hectares (which could be for as many as twenty homes) will be exempt. The Guardian suggests that over three quarters of developments could be so described. Other estimates put this at between at least 60 per cent and around 82 per cent.

At present, there’s quite a strange assortment of developments which are exempted, ranging from small home-builds to HS2. Whichever figure above you accept, there are certianly going to be a whole lot more.

Supporters of this move might claim that the BND system is onerous and expensive and doesn’t produce the intended benefits. The main thing is to get building and that this obsession with plants, trees, bats, newts etc is holding this back.

Opponents might claim that, while the BNG system isn’t perfect, it’s only been around for a couple of years. The UK is one one of the most nature-depleted countries on earth and needs all the help it can get.

This seems like yet another cave-in to the developers’ lobby. Nature is not the enemy of the planning system. The lack of brakes on the hope value of development sites, land banking, skill shortages, the problems resulting from outsourcing the whole policy execution to the private sector and the under-funding of the planning system are all more pertinent obstacles. So too is setting, or, rather, re-iterating, an inherited and unrealistic housing target.

Many organisations also claim that it’s that most basic and common of political wrongs, a broken promise. “In its Election Manifesto, Labour made a commitment to ensure that housing and infrastructure development would be done in a way that ‘promotes nature’s recovery’,” Craig Bennett, Chief Executive of The Wildlife Trusts, said. “But today’s announcement adds to the long list of ways in which this promise is being broken.

“More specifically, in January of this year when he was Environment Secretary, Steve Reed made a solemn promise that the Government was ‘committed to Biodiversity Net Gain’. Now, as Housing Secretary, he has broken his word and has weakened it to such an extent that a combined area across England the size of Windsor Forest will now not be restored for nature.

“It confirms that the majority of planning applications will not now contribute to nature’s recovery. This will see a significant chunk of jobs and private sector investment in nature’s recovery lost.”

I despair of this government, I really do. Labour has traditionally got even less sympathy for the environment than the Conservatives but surely we all know now that it’s kind of important? We voted for change last year and we haven’t got it. Every policy or budget or whatever it announces, or is leaked, seems to make it seem increasingly out of touch.

• And finally…

• Reform UK has received a £9m donation from aviation and cryptocurrency tycoon Christopher Harbourne. The Conversation describes this as “the biggest one-off donation by a living individual in British history.” The fear, or hope (depending on your point of view) is that with some way to go before the next election and with a lot of questions being asked about its leader, Reform’s bubble may burst too early. This may keep it filled up for a bit longer. What a terrible indictment it is of all our parties – particularly the Conservatives – that this one is now seen as the solution to our problems.

• Trump’s spat with our continent seems to have developed into an all-out war. As reported in The Week, his “America First” National Security Strategy outlines a new world order in which Europe is seen as a weak and decaying irrelevance compared to to the three Orwellian states of Eurasia, Eastasia and Oceania.

• The same publication also takes a look at the question of the proposal to reduce the number of cases that can be tried by juries. there are arguments pro and anti this moves, summarised at the foot of the article. if you have a system that’s the absolute bedrock of society, as the justice system is, you have to fund it properly. if you don’t, a whole carnival of other evils will follow. Recent governments have not funded it properly, leading to the 8o,ooo-odd backlog of cases.

On the basis that “justice delayed is justice denied”, given where we are (largely self-inflicted), speeding things up may be less bad than preserving what many see as ancient liberties, even though these are likely to led to more convictions (the people then being incarceated where exactly, given that the prisons are even more overloaded than the courts?). Thus we see another small step towards increasing the power of the government, all in the name of solving a problem which the government itself was largely responsible for creating in the first place.

• The government has announced that the UK will rejoin the EU’s Erasmus scheme which enables UK students to study in Europe for a year. The post Brexit Turing scheme seems to have been less popular and easy to access. Its apparent advantage of being global also rather undermines the point that there’s much to be gained from a closer relationship with our immediate neighbours.

• The crucial third Ashes test is underway, Australia having posted a predictably challenging first-innings total. I’m watching – though doing so from behind the sofa makes it rather hard to type…

Across the area

• Council finances

West Berkshire Council’s (WBC) Executive met on 18 December, the agenda for which you can see here. The most pressing matter is item 7, which concerns the Council’s financial position.

This isn’t great. “The Council is,” the agenda summarises, “pro-actively responding to the financial position that it, and many other Councils across the country, faces. The report sets out the Finance Improvement Plan, the external assurance review and implementation of a Finance Improvement Group to provide even greater focus on the Council’s finances.’

The agenda pack also includes a report from CIPFA, The Chartered Institute of Public Finance and Accountancy (see here from p61). The summary tells us that “Past below-inflation council tax increases and higher than average net spending per capita meant that the council has historically had low reserves for unexpected events. With statutory services for adult and children social care, special educational needs, and increased interest rates on borrowing, those reserves have been eroded, despite delivering significant financial savings.’

And the conclusion? WBC is in “a perilous financial position” and has “no clear plan” for resolving this. Exceptional Financial Support (EFS) has provided some respite but “the structural gap” between funding and revenue remains. Without a strategy, further EFS is unlikely to be provided. Withough this, the Council is “very unlikely” to be able to set a balanced budget for 2026-27, necessitating a Section 114 notice, an effective declaration of bankruptcy.

On 17 December, the government announced “£78bn for councils” as part of the funding settlement. This is, the statement continues, a “turning point settlement to cut deprivation. The funding injection is aimed at restoring pride, and councils will have more resources available to bring back libraries, youth services and community hubs.” It’s not yet clear to me how much of this West Berkshire will get. In a statement on 18 December, one of the local MPs, Olivia Bailey, claimed this was £19.5m but I haven’t yet had this confirmed by the Council.

(In fact, a statement from WBC on 19 December directly contradicted Olivia Bailey’s assessment, claiming that the settlement “will leave West Berkshire Council among the hardest hit councils in the country” and that the Revenue Support Grant, “a key source of Government funding, will fall sharply from £27 million to £16 million in just two years.” I’ve asked both Olivia Bailey and WBC how each could have come up with such different views.)

WBC has over the years made some financial mistakes, as have we all. However, there’s no one huge act of municipal stupidity, misjudgment or incompetence one can point to, as one can with Thurrock, Slough, Croydon and Birmingham. It won’t be the only council in this leaky boat.

• Healthwatch West Berkshire

The latest newsletter form Healthwatch West Berkshire has just popped into my inbox and you can click here to read it.

First off: what does this organisation do? It is, the website informs us, “your local independent champion for people who use health and social care services. We’re here to make sure that those running services put people at the heart of care. Our main purpose is to understand the needs, experiences and concerns of people who use health and social care services and to speak out on their behalf.

​”We focus on ensuring that people’s worries and concerns about current services are addressed and work to get services right for the future. Healthwatch West Berkshire is part of a network of over 150 local Healthwatch services across the country. For more information, visit the Healthwatch England website.”

One phrase in the newsletter caught my eye: “It’s been a truly fabulous, thought-provoking and, truth be told, shocking year for Healthwatch West Berkshire, and for Healthwatch organisations across the country.” I wondered about what had been “shocking” so called them up.

A very helpful member of staff told me that thaqt the shock came in the summer with news that all the Healthwatch groups in England would be scrapped as part of the government’s latest plans to reform the NHS. As might be expected, this has not met with universal support. Exactly when this will happen (or, following pushback, if this will happen at all) and what if anything will replace them are less clear.

It doesn’t seem to be down to anything the healthwatch groups are doing wrong, the BBC referring to a government statement which “acknowledged the successes of Heathwatch.” So, why do it? “These changes will make things clearer for patients and give them a stronger voice,” the statement continued. “Through our 10-year Health Plan we will bring patient care into the 21st century, using tech and AI to make checks more rigorous and efficient and ensure we never turn a blind eye to failure.”

As with so many government statements, this seems to be a classic collection of clichés – possibly written by AI –  in search of some real meaning. About the only one missing is “fit for purpose.” The cynic in me adds that another reason might be that the NHS would prefer that there were fewer independent organisations cheking up on what it was doing, or not doing.

Be that is it may, for the time being at least Healthwatch West Berkshire isn’t going anywhere. It appears that it has already done much to help “bring patient care into the 21st century” and will continue to do this. See the website and the newsletters for more on the issues it dels with and how it can help you with any concerns or issues you have.

• EV help

• Design awards

The Newbury Society has launched the West Berkshire Architectural Design Award. Entries are welcome from any projects of any size in West Berkshire that have been completed within the last three years. Entries must be in by 28 February and the judging panel will include lay people as well as retired architects.

“The new award aims to foster a higher standard of design, inspiring builders, architects, and homeowners to create structures that are not only functional but also visually appealing and genuinely enhance the surrounding environment,” Chris Marriage Chairman of The Newbury Society said. “The Society is seeking designs that demonstrate thoughtful integration with the landscape, innovative use of materials, and a commitment to improving our lived experience.”

“We believe that good architectural design has a profound impact on the quality of life in our community,” added Garry Poulson, Principal of the Design Award scheme. “This award is designed to shine a light on the best work being done in West Berkshire and to encourage everyone involved in building projects to aim for excellence.”

The Newbury Society believes that by formally recognising outstanding architectural achievements, it can “help create a more attractive, interesting, and sustainable built environment for all residents of West Berkshire.”

For more information, click here.

West Berkshire’s Youth Council

At the Executive meeting on 18 December, WBC approved the formation of a Youth Council. This will be, the Council says, “a major step forward in empowering young people to influence decisions that affect their lives today and shape the future of our district.”

West Berkshire Council “invites all eligible young people to take part in this exciting opportunity to make a difference.” Details on how to join and contribute will be announced in due course.

News from your local councils