As 20 March 2024 got ready for bed, four petty crooks departed South London in an unassuming Kia Picanto. Their mission? To burn down a warehouse in Leyton. 

But this wasn’t score settling between rival gangs, intimidating a local business, or even good old-fashioned vandalism. The purpose of the ill-fated venture was to prevent equipment from reaching Ukraine and aiding its war effort. 

Why on earth would they do such a thing? Importantly, they were not acting ideologically, but instead at the behest of a Russian mercenary group (classified as a terrorist organisation by the UK government) for cold hard cash.

Earlier this week, the ragtag group were found guilty and face lengthy sentences. They never received their payment. 

What happened?

The roots of this catalogue of miscalculations stem from a man named Dylan Earl. Feeling unfulfilled, the Leicestershire drug dealer hoped to jump-start his life by joining the Russian military (as you do), having somehow been put in contact with the Wagner Group, a Russian mercenary outfit.

His initial advances were rebuffed. Perhaps his admission that he only spoke 30 words of Russian scuppered his chances. But his Wagner handler, aka “Privet Bot” had work for him in Blighty.

On 14 March, Earl was tasked with assembling a group to burn down a warehouse owned by Ukrainian businessman Mikhail Boikov, who distributed vital supplies to his home country. 

Or, as put by the terrorist designated Wagner group, “They sponsor and provide aid to Ukrainian terrorists”. The irony of this was likely lost on the Wagner group, an organisation not known for its sense of humour.

Seeing the chance for quick cash (and to win favour from his new masters), Earl contacted associate Jake Reeves to fill the role of hiring manager, who in turn enlisted Nii Mensah, Jakeem Rose and Ugnius Asmena to do the dirty work.

While they succeeded in setting fire to the warehouse, causing £1m of damage, two heinous mistakes led to their downfall. Firstly, the event was inexplicably livestreamed to Earl, evidence of which was inevitably uncovered by the police. Secondly, Rose dropped a knife with his DNA while escaping the scene. Each of these errors highlights a level of stupidity that almost garners sympathy.

Earl, however, was delighted with how things went. His Wagner handler felt differently, believing the team had jumped the gun: “you rushed into burning these warehouses without my approval. Now it will be impossible to pay for this arson.

“We could have burned the warehouses much better and more if we had coordinated our actions. It was necessary to set fire in different places all around the perimeter at once and it would be bigger.” Said Privet Bot.

Ouch. Not the appraisal Earl was looking for.

Soon, Privet Bot proposed an even more outlandish plot – destroying the restaurant and wine shop of Russian dissident Evgeny Chichvarkin, an outspoken critic of Putin and kidnapping him for an unlawful extradition back to Russia.

Thankfully, the second phase of this master plan was scuppered, as counter-terrorism police swooped in to arrest Wagner’s puppets. Due to a treasure-trove of evidence (including the knife, live-streamed video, Telegram messages and CCTV videos), guilty verdicts were rendered for the core group, with some accomplices dodging the long arm of the law.

A domestic concern

Let’s face it, outlandish attacks on British soil by shady Russian bodies are nothing new (think Salisbury and Litvinenko). But even though the police foiled further bungling plots, the ease with which Wagner manipulated susceptible British nationals is concerning.

Doubtlessly, there are thousands of disenfranchised young men across the country, for whom conducting acts of domestic terrorism in exchange for cash seems a risk worth taking. Russia’s notoriously effective disinformation tactics and propaganda will likely also contribute to weakening national pride and allegiances with the UK and Europe.

In its communications with Earl, Pivot Bot discussed building saboteur networks in the UK to carry out missions. It never reached that point, mainly due to the abject incompetence of this particular cell. Still, it’s entirely possible a more competent group could sow discord, undertake attacks and dispense chaos far more effectively.

One thing’s for sure: the Wagner Group will be picking its proxies better next time.

Michael Quinn