Flamstead has its moments in the spotlight. The annual Book in the Belfry’festival attracts notable authors. In 2008, Channel 4’s Time Team uncovered a Roman temple complex. On one dark day, the BBC reported that two of three local pubs had closed in 24 hours, leaving the Rose & Crown to stand alone.

Generally speaking though, this quaint Hertfordshire village flies under the radar. That is, until now.

Over the past week, over 20 residents have found themselves plagued by an unknown, airborne assailant. At first, confusion reigned. Tall, middle-aged men were being struck upon the head, with no discernible attacker.

As it turns out, A Harris’s Hawk is to blame, dive-bombing Flamstead’s male populace and leaving them scratching the scratches on their head in confusion and fear.

Witness statements paint a chilling picture.

“(it) struck from behind and boofed me on the head,” said Paul Boys when speaking with The Independent.

Roy Lambden faced a similar fate, explaining how he “felt a whack” before realising the beast had drawn blood. “It was only from the corner of my eye that I realised it was a bird because I saw it fly away,” he added.

More alarming are reports that another winged terror may have entered the fray.

“The bird hit me from behind with such force it knocked me over. I spun round and saw a red kite a few feet away from me.” Said Wayne Cockrell to The Herts Advertiser.

“I want to let people know – yes there is a Harris’s hawk, but there’s also a big red kite that flies around by itself. It’s always hanging around Trowley Hill Road,” He added, making the kite sound like a group of troublesome teenagers.

The main question is, why? What have the people of Flamstead done to invoke this wrath? One possible culprit is the town’s scarecrow festival, potentially irking the local crow population into hiring these birds of prey as enforcers. Thus far, the Scarecrow Festival remains firmly on. Flamstead will not be intimidated.

Despite Police warnings and a professional bird-catching deployment, there is, as of yet, no end in sight to this reign of terror.

“Birds of prey aren’t actively hostile towards humans,” a spokesperson for the local Whipsnade Zoo said (despite recent evidence to the contrary) “but may attack if provoked or if they feel threatened if a person got too close. We do not recommend feeding them.”

Perhaps the kites and hawks have been watching Hitchcock’s The Birds and decided it was time to make it real. Meanwhile, Flamstead’s residents will be wondering what birds might appear next. They’ll certainly be hoping that Whipsnade’s staff have their vultures and eagles well secured…