We thought the craze for round-robin Christmas letters had passed. It seems not. We received this one this morning, from someone who just signed herself ‘xxxx’. She sent us one a couple of years ago as well. We might have to move house to escape her…

Once again, what a year! It seems like at least two years since I’ve written to you all – then I look it my diary and find it was! 2016 a bit of a blurrrr, mainly due to the new biz (see below)! Also, we were away in Nov and Dec 2016, the Seychelles being warmer than dreary old South Ken.

First things first – I’m sure you’re agog for news of the children! Tamsin is working for Kohnmann’s, the art people, and has been promoted twice if you please in the last year! Now she’s Assistant Deputy (I always get this bit wrong so deep breath) Trans-European Procurement Advisor which means among other things she has to jet off to Berlin and Madrid at the drop of a hat. Violin taking a back seat (shame after squillions spent on lessons at the Menuhin School). She said the other day ‘money was more important than Mozart,’ which is obviously priceless and terribly clever. Still, it’s her decision and the last thing I want her to think is that we’d like her to pay back all the bloody money and refund us for the hours we spent driving her to and from Cobham for lessons! Only joking, Tam!

Fiona’s teeth problems now behind her and she sailed through A-levels with A, A, A and…wait for it…A* – so not too shabby! She’s agonising between the Sorbonne and Oxford. Simon’s brother (remember ‘bald’ Pete at the fancy-dress party at Goodwood, Beaky!) knows the admissions tutor at Keble so that should be that if she decides for dreaming spires! Otherwise it’s Gay Paree (can one say ‘gay’ any more?!).

Ben is 12 and continues to excel in class and on the sports field – still captain of everything (including chess) and turning into a dashing young man (grrr!). Mr Allen, the scary head, says he looks like Simon (I don’t see it!) but maybe he’s just being polite as it’s Simon’s name on the cheques every term!

Poor Hugo struggles on, still trying to keep up with all the rest of us! Nine last month and now happily (?) ensconced at prep school. The Special Needs department is really very good considering he’s their first. They didn’t want to take him at all but Simon put his foot down – it was a no-brainer for us as it’s just down the road from the country cott. in Suffolk so ideal for exeats. Extras racking up, particularly after he set fire to his school uniform in the first week:  then there was an awful row when he let the school pig into the headmaster’s garden. Hell to pay and huge bills all round. I think he’s happier now but he hasn’t written for a while (he’s even worse than me at writing letters!!)

As for Simon, I told you about all the legal shenanigans last time. Everything much the same. He never got any money off the pilot after the parachuting fiasco so he’s suing his solicitor who he said gave him the wrong advice. As a result he had to find a new one so he could go after the insurance company, who still haven’t paid a bean after the fire. Simon says that once they’re threatened with court they’ll settle but no sign yet. The new solicitor’s advising him to drop it, which of course for S is like a red rag to a bull! What with that and the business with those Frenchmen and the police ombudsman after the thing with our car and the jewel raid, he’s got four cases on the go! S says it’ll be five if the new lawyer doesn’t pull his finger out.

As for little old me, last year I decided I didn’t see why I should be the only one without her own blog. SO, girls (and boys, natch!) if you want to keep up to date with our wacky goings-on just dial up YummyMuddyMumsBlognet.com (muddy cos of horses and dogs, mum cos I’m a mum, yummy – durgh!).

Thanks to Cat and Pippa who helped come up with the fab name (with the aid of a lot of Chardonnay!) There’s a lovely Polish man called Zyzrwrzloz (that’s what it sounds like anyway) doing the website – he’s not cheap but for my priceless prose (?!) he says it needs to be the best thing since sliced bread so money well spent (and being spent!). He’s been on it for over a year but it’s never quite finished (like his cousin who put in our boiler last year!!) Thanks too to Becky and dishy Dan who help get my punctuation and words the right way round – when I’m on fire it just pours out and it’s soooo boring to stop and check! Plus the wonderful Maddie who does the pics, silly me never being sure if I’m pointing the camera the right way (remember the sauna in Sardinia, Trish!). So, quite a team!

It got 52 hits last month – I’m setting sights high and hoping to hit the big three figures next! I expect you all to rally round and sing its praises. I don’t want to let the cat out but rumour has it that A Certain Person at Vogue (Gemma knows who I mean – thanks for the intro, Gem!) – might be A Little Bit Interested – naturally I’m not doing it for the money but of course it would be yum to have my little scribblings in print! Fingers (and toes!) crossed!

Anyway do write (or blog!) saying how you’re all getting on. I may not be able to reply at once what with everything that’s going on – it’s all busy busy busy here. And remember, anything you say could end up in Vogue – so keep it clean (that means you, Fi!)

xxxx

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