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Reasons to be Cheerful | Appetite for Destruction

Seasons greetings!  I’m Toni Kent, a writer based in the wilds of Berkshire.  Each month I’ll be sharing with you an extract from my book ‘Reasons to be Cheerful, Part One‘ and it feels only right and proper that this post should deal with the topic of overindulgence during the festive season.

Reasons to be Cheerful Appetite for Destruction
The fridge groans, and so do my insides..

Appetite for Destruction

Ugh.  God I feel gross.  Five days of non-stop feasting has taken its toll.  Cut me open and my insides would look like a gala pie: layers of pastry, meat and jelly made from a multitude of delicious fatty morsels consumed with neither guilt nor counting of calories.  My blood is double cream, my skin stretched a little tighter (which is no bad thing for filling out fine lines..) and my brain a funk of too much indulgence and not enough exercise.  Barring the ‘Boxing Day Walk’ which put a helpful seven miles in the bank, there has been no running or cycling and yet my joints ache from all the sitting around and crawling about on the floor that comes with this season of being a slob in front of the tv, playing board games with children and catching up with friends and family.  Our digestive systems are taking a beating and no-one dares fling themselves down on the sofa for fear of disturbing a dormant cloud of Christmas farts.

Lunches and dinners are awash with seconds, pigs wrapped in blankets and choices of puddings.  The tree grows chocolates, fruit is candied and veggies come from the oven spitting with hot fat.  We eat out before the pantomime at which the ‘dame’ has better legs than most of the ladies in the audience (must be all that dancing and discipline).  Feeling inspired, as soon as we get home I eat a clementine then jig about with the children.  My knees crack, and my stomach feels like it contains several house bricks.

Come the first week of January the children will return to school, I have a talk to deliver that I am bricking myself over, and many miles of walking to put in as training begins in earnest for the MoonWalk in May.  The wise amongst us would be starting early, using this lull before the storm of the New Year to lay off the lard and be ready to meet January 1st with vim, vigour and a virtuously clear head.

But that would take the fun out of it, no?  As a friend put it to me “Christmas is like an endurance sport”, and we have a full fridge, plenty of wine and the small matter of New Year’s Eve just around the corner.  And if I’m to make it through that, I’d better get training – pass me a profiterole would you?

Toni x

Soundtrack: Appetite for Destruction by Guns N’ Roses

Like this?  Want to find more reasons to be cheerful?  Click this link here to buy or download a copy from Amazon!

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7:00 am Hungerford Wednesday Market @ Hungerford High Street
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Jan 22 @ 7:00 am – 2:30 pm
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10:00 am Art Group @ Lambourn Library
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Jan 22 @ 10:00 am – 12:00 pm
Art Group @ Lambourn Library | Lambourn | England | United Kingdom
Art Group Every Wednesday, 10.00am-12.00pm at Lambourn Library. Bring your paints, pastels or pencils. For more information, please contact the library. Twitter: https://twitter.com/WBerksLibraries Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/newburylibrary/
11:00 am Rhymetime @ Hungerford Library @ Hungerford Library
Rhymetime @ Hungerford Library @ Hungerford Library
Jan 22 @ 11:00 am – 11:30 am
Rhymetime @ Hungerford Library @ Hungerford Library | England | United Kingdom
Rhymetime Rhymetime for under 4’s, every Wednesday in term time ONLY, 11am at Hungerford Library. For more information please contact the library. Twitter: https://twitter.com/WBerksLibraries Facebook:
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Rhymetime @ Newbury Library @ Newbury Library
Jan 22 @ 11:00 am – 11:30 am
Rhymetime @ Newbury Library @ Newbury Library | England | United Kingdom
Rhymetime for under 3 years Every Tuesday and Wednesday, 11.00-11.20am at Newbury Library. For more information, please contact the library. Twitter: https://twitter.com/WBerksLibraries Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/newburylibrary/ http://info.westberks.gov.uk/article/30251
11:00 am Rhymetime @ Theale Library @ Theale Library
Rhymetime @ Theale Library @ Theale Library
Jan 22 @ 11:00 am – 11:30 am
Rhymetime @ Theale Library @ Theale Library | Theale | England | United Kingdom
Rhymetime for 0-2 years Wednesdays. 11.00-11.30am, term time only, at Theale Library No charge, but voluntary donations welcome. For more information, please contact the library.
2:00 pm English Conversation Group @ Hun... @ Hungerford Library
English Conversation Group @ Hun... @ Hungerford Library
Jan 22 @ 2:00 pm – 3:00 pm
English Conversation Group @ Hungerford Library @ Hungerford Library | England | United Kingdom
English Conversation Group Is English your second language? Get help with everyday conversation at this friendly session. Every Wednesday, 2.00-3.00pm at Hungerford Library. For more
2:30 pm Knit & Natter @ Newbury Library
Knit & Natter @ Newbury Library
Jan 22 @ 2:30 pm – 4:30 pm
Knit & Natter @ Newbury Library | England | United Kingdom
Knit & Natter at Burghfield Library Drop in and bring your knitting with you. Starts Wednesday 16 May, then fortnightly on Wednesdays, 2.30-4.30 pm. For
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Jan 22 @ 3:00 pm – 7:00 pm
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3:30 pm Quick Craft @ Theale Library @ Theale Library
Quick Craft @ Theale Library @ Theale Library
Jan 22 @ 3:30 pm – 4:45 pm
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Quick Craft for under 11 years Wednesdays, 3.30-4.45pm at Theale Library No charge but voluntary donations welcome. For more information, please contact the library. http://info.westberks.gov.uk/article/30287
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