The new year is often a time to think about life and take stock. Sometimes you may have a feeling that life is not quite right, or you may experience a deep seated sense of unhappiness or incompleteness.
This feeling might seem incomprehensible. Perhaps life is going well and you are grateful for the family, work and home you have. In this case we often wonder what we could possibly be unhappy about and carry on. But what if you listened to that feeling and investigated it?
You may have had the feeling for many years and ignored it. If that’s the case it’s possible things have started to go wrong. You might have started to drink more, or have relationship problems, or your health may be suffering. You might be slipping into depression. Questions such as ‘what’s the point?’, ‘what’s the meaning of my life?’, or even thoughts like ‘I can’t go on’ could appear.
Wherever you are on your journey through life, paying attention to uneasy thoughts or feelings is an investment in your future. These thoughts and feelings are trying to get your attention for a good reason. If you ignore them they tend to act out in destructive ways until you listen. While they can be very uncomfortable in the short term, they also offer a gateway to change. Sometimes this leads to a fuller and better life.
My own experience was not really pay attention to how I felt for many years, so that when I realized the meaning behind the feelings I had (in my case feelings of rage) it led to an immediate crisis in my life. For a few years things were very difficult, but from that has emerged a way of life I find more satisfying.
I’m suggesting you find time to explore uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. Normally this requires you to reflect and take stock. It may require a lot of time and sometimes the help of others. People tackle this in different ways; coaching, therapy, or beginning to follow a spiritual path.
One way to explore is through a meditation, mindfulness or a personal development group or program. I’m running a weekly Meditation Group 2 – 3.30pm starting Saturday 9 January to help people explore themselves and their sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. Contact me if you think you might be interested.
If you’re at a deeper crisis point you may need to get professional help. If you’d like to talk in confidence about any issues, please contact me at chris.paul@creativedifference.org.uk I offer a free half hour telephone assessment to see if working together could be beneficial for you. If you’d like to understand more about Counselling and Life Coaching please watch my videos at http://www.creativedifference.org.uk/what-is-counselling/ and http://www.creativedifference.org.uk/what-is-coaching/.
Chris Paul
Counsellor and Life Coach in Swindon, Marlborough and Hungerford
