IDD Miracle Cure

Much has been heard recently of the properties of camel milk, the latest go-to super food, with scientists in Riyadh reporting extraordinary results when using it to treat a range of conditions including male and female pattern baldness, measles and the common cold. There are even claims that it provides the same results as Viagra, but with fewer side-effects. Other applications being investigated for the milk include an inner coating for inflatable tyres to help seal punctures, a treatment to protect wood against the ravages of the Blue Yemen Weevil and an effective agent for cleaning the lithographic rollers on web-offset printing presses.

It seems that camel urine may also be similarly blessed. This has been used successfully to treat back acne, cradle cap, tooth abscesses, verucas and bad breath.

However, camel aficionados have for some time been whispering about something potentially even more remarkable – dromedary Inter-Dactyl Discharge (IDD). Known in the industry as camel-toe jam, this secretion from between the camel’s webbed toes protects the most delicate part of the foot from the sand dunes and is rumoured to have all the auto-immune and restorative properties of the milk and urine but multiplied by ten. Scientists have been rubbing it on their faces and seeing quite extraordinary results as scarring and wrinkles disappearing in hours.

IDD is neither cheap nor commercially available at the moment but the Yom Kilbret Camel Research Institute (YKCRI) in Dubai is currently employing a team of chemists looking to exploit, develop and market this seemingly miraculous product.

“We have two main problems at present,” Dr Assam from YKCRI confessed earlier this week. “The first is that the extraction of the jam is a delicate business. Although the process is painless and harmless, a camel is nevertheless a powerful and moody beast. The second is that the jam is not noted for its pleasant aroma. This is similar to very sour milk that has been mixed with something acerbic such as battery acid.”

Dr Assam is confident that both these problems can be overcome. “The camels do get gradually accustomed to the procedure,” he said, “and the good news is that the more that’s removed, the more they produce.” As for the smell, several teams at YKCRI are working on creating a combination of additives to mask the stench of the IDD. The most promising seems to be blend of coriander seeds, lavender oil and Trinidad Moruga Scorpion chilli peppers, the odour of which Dr Assam describes as ‘interesting.’

It is rumoured that scientists in the UK are working round the clock on similar procedures to test the efficacy of IDD found in our native even-toed ungulates including highland cattle, Gloucestershire Old Spot pigs and muntjack.

When it isn’t warning the populace about extreme weather conditions or the perfidy of the European Parliament, the Daily Express is expected to be devoting front-page coverage to this seeming miracle cure within the next few weeks.

 

 

© Can Stock Photo / schankz

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Email
Print

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Sign up to the free weekly

Penny Post
e-newsletter 

 

For: local positive news, events, jobs, recipes, special offers, recommendations & more.

Covering: Newbury, Thatcham, Hungerford, Marlborough, Wantage, Lambourn, Compton, Swindon & Theale