Happiness isn’t everything

Creative Difference

Is happiness the purpose of life?  Our manipulative culture seems to want us to pursue happiness. From early years that culture bombards you with images and ideas of what happy is and why you want to buy it.  Life would be easy if toothpaste could make you happy.

I don’t feel happy all the time and I’m wondering if you do? You may have everything our society teaches us to value: family, job, house, money, etc. If you’re not happy with that you may feel that there is something wrong with you. You may get depressed about it, or self medicate away the unhappiness with alcohol, work harder to achieve more happiness, or have a breakdown.

As M. Scott Peck put it, “Life is Difficult”. I find that if I expect to be happy, when I am sad life is even more difficult. I can end up feeling worse because I can’t accept the sadness or a low mood. The next step for me used to be to distract myself from feeling. Eventually that leads to not feeling at all.

The expectation of being happy can make bad things worse. I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t enjoy our happiness or that we should not do things that make us happy. I’m suggesting that accepting that feeling bad is ok will help when we do feel bad. But if we numb ourselves through drink, drugs, work, sex, gambling or constant activity to avoid unhappiness (do you clean when you feel bad?), we end up with even less happiness than we might have had.

If you’d like to talk in confidence about any issues, please contact me at chris.paul@creativedifference.org.uk  I offer a free half hour telephone assessment to see if working together could be beneficial for you. If you’d like to understand more about Counselling and Life Coaching please watch my videos at http://www.creativedifference.org.uk/what-is-counselling/ and http://www.creativedifference.org.uk/what-is-coaching/.


Chris Paul

Counsellor and Life Coach in Marlborough and Hungerford









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