Couple Counselling – working on your relationship

Couple Counselling helps people stay together when staying together seems difficult. Romantic thoughts and feelings naturally pass and some of the magic may be lost in the daily struggle with career, family or other commitments. Particularly when there is a big change, such as the birth of children or job relocation, this can put stress on the relationship. Time passes and that alone can be difficult as each of you changes and grows.

Couples often come for counselling only when things are really bad and they’ve reached a crisis point. Communication may have broken down, the couple may be leading parallel lives rather than lives together, or one of the partners may have acted out difficulties through an affair.

Couple Counselling can turn a crisis into an opportunity to work through what is difficult between you. Although none of us want to reach such a painful point, it does mean that old patterns of being and behaving are looked at. Whatever the crisis is, exploring the dynamics of your relationship can help. It is important that this is not an exercise in blame, as both partners contribute to any situation. For example, an affair may be a symptom that something is not working in the relationship. The affair may be the crisis that leads to you seeking help, but if you simply patch things up then whatever issue lies behind the crisis will come back to cause more damage.

Sometimes it takes a crisis to get your attention, but you can work on your relationship before things go that far. Each partner brings their own strengths and weaknesses, their different ways of being with another. Over time, with the stresses that naturally occur, these may cause difficulties. If you talk with each other and are mindful about how you are together, that can help. You will need to spend time with each other, even when you are so busy it seems like there is no time. Some of that time will need to be used to ask the question, ‘how are we doing together?’  One way to do this is through Couple Counselling.

Sometimes the best thing is to part. One partner might be violent to the other. Trust may have broken down irretrievably. Or it may be that you simply want different things for your lives and your time together is over. Parting can be painful, but sometimes necessary.

If you’d like to talk in confidence about this or other issues, please contact me at chris.paul@creativedifference.org.uk  I offer a free half hour telephone assessment to see if working together could be beneficial for you.

If you’d like to understand more about Counselling and Life Coaching please watch my videos at http://www.creativedifference.org.uk/what-is-counselling/ and http://www.creativedifference.org.uk/what-is-coaching/.

 

Chris Paul

Counsellor and Life Coach in Marlborough and Hungerford

www.creativedifference.org.uk

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